I Reopened the Wound

Just when things were (probably) starting to heal over, I went and picked the scab. This is an eye opening experience though. The level of intensity is outrageous. It just goes to show the amount of passion I have on this topic. Possibly why I've been so crazy emotional when it comes to it.

Which leads me to wonder how I could possibly feel so blank in other situations. Maybe the feelings aren't there, but I kind of already suspected that. It just frustrates me that I'm in a PERFECTLY good situation currently and I'm merely content instead of full blown ecstatic, but when I was in a total garbage, ridiculous situation, I feel like I'm either on cloud 9 or sitting in the bowels of hell.


The mind is one hell of a bitch sometimes.

The Infection is Spreading

Here I go again, falling into familiar habits. I tried amputation, but it keeps coming back.


I feel infected. It's the best way to describe it. I know I shouldn't do the things I do, but it keeps drawing me back. Maybe addicted would be a better description.

I was so close to being done.


It won't work and yet I try anyways.